Merry Christmas Everyone!

Celebrating 387 Years of Puritan Oppression with a California Roadtrip

God Bless the Pilgrims. If it wasn't for their brand of religious fanaticism that was extreme even by 17th century English standards, we might not know the joys of eating food grown on stolen land. At least we traded blankets for said land. Oh wait....those were laced with small pox.....how Christian.

Okay, cynicism aside, I dig Thanksgiving. I have fond childhood memories of wolfing down copious amounts of food, throwing dice with relatives, and doing other Puritan-approved things. Despite these sentiments, I couldn't muster up the energy to fight the crowds between the airport parking garage and whatever gate my flight to Chicago would leave from. Instead, I opted for six days off from work spent galloping through California's Eastern Sierras coupled with a side trip to Yosemite Valley (my first time there even though I lived in SF for 5 years...lame).

In the interest of time, and because I want even President Bush to be able to comprehend this post, I'm gonna bullet point if for you all (GW's preferred method of understanding complex issues such as 1300 years of Sunni-Shiite rivalry).

Wednesday, November 21

• Met up with Kiara, Pam (his gf), and her sister Kim in Lone Pine to climb Alabama Hills, a beautiful series of crags in the shadow of Lone Pine peak and Mt Whitney. A lot of old movies were filmed here....very cool place to hang out.

• Chased the day's climbing with disgusting amount of Chinese food. MSG never tasted so good.

Left: Patrick takes stock of a route

Kiara leading a route on the Shark Fin

Mt. Whitney with Lone Pine to the left of it.

Me climbing a route at dusk. Great shot Pam.

Thursday, November 24

• Bouldered for a bit at the Sad Boulders outside Bishop. Tougher than the Happys but still fun.
  
• Went to meet this dude Christian (sp?) who's dating a friend of mine living in LA. She had been in Flag for this survival course we both attended and she forgot her camera at my place. Christian was supposed to be the hand-off guy. He was bouldering at the Buttermilks, a gnarly area where only the big boys are allowed to hang out (aka, me only on my good days). Now, I've met this cat a few times and didn't totally remember what he looked like. Christian's directions were solid all the way from town to the dirt road which marks the start of the true sticks. He had told me to meet him where there were a bunch of cars parked. As I arrive at such a place, I see some guys waving at me. There weren't a ton of cars but I figured it had to be the place. I drive up to these dudes thinking one of them must be Christian. Indeed, one of the three did look like him though a lot scruffier (aka dirty hippy-like) than I remembered. So I get out of the car still not 100% sure that it's him, and ask "Hey man, are you Christian?"....I was met with three blank stares mixed with muted disgust. One of them finally breaks the silence by responding, "We've already been saved bro. Go back the way you came". Ha! You can't make stuff like that up. We all laughed and were soon on our way to the real Christian, who took the camera without allowing me to covert him.
  
• After our failed missionary experience, we decided it was time to head back to Mammoth, but not before stopping at the famed hot springs just south of town. There we met two So Calers who spoke at length about the nuances of making DMT (some sort of drug) in the average American kitchen. 30 minutes of this was enough for us. We got up to leave and thanked them for the company. One dude's response was "Smoke that DMT and you will understand god and how the aliens affect everything". Again, you can't make this stuff up.
• Thanksgiving dinner was held at Pam's friend's house. 30 guests including Patrick, myself, Pam and Kim. Everyone was a local climbing and/or ski bum, the kind of folk who choose the path of the struggling mountain town proletariat for the rewarding outdoor experience it affords. Even though we were strangers in a strange land, everyone treated us with respect and were friendly enough to share 2 turkeys (one deep friend...delicious!), 4 types of stuffing, and whatever else one would desire on Turkey day. It was more than we could have asked for. Thanks to all who made it possible.

Friday, November 25

• Global warming means that the Sierra Nevada passes aren't closing nearly as early as they used to. This meant that we could drive from Mammoth to Yosemite Valley in about 90 minutes. As said, I'd never been there before and neither had Patrick. The Valley was crowded and the ranger we spoke to was useless, so we opted to do a hike from a book we had borrowed from Pam: the Panorama Trail from Glacier Point to Illilouette Falls. 10 minutes from the crowded parking lot and we had the place largely to ourselves with views of Half Dome and numerous other formations to our left. Unbelievable. Check out the shots below.
• On our way out, we were treated with a somewhat rare spectacle of a full moon rising in a clear sky over Half Dome and El Cap. Again, unbelievable.

Me in front of the Dome....yes, it was chilly.

Illiloutee Falls

Moon rising near Half Dome (hard to see, but it's there!)


Saturday, November 26

• Went looking for the road to Owen's River Gorge, a popular crag with tons of routes, but couldn't find it .
• Settled for bouldering at the Happy Boulders instead.
• Watched "Transformers" which I must say, was much, much less than meets the eye. In fact, I think we all wanted to scratch out our eyes after watching it. Way to ruin another good idea for a movie guys.

Sunday, November 27

• Climbed ORG with Kiara. The routes here are long and steep, the rock slippery in parts, the grades far more difficult than the guide books would suggest. Still an awesome, intimidating crag. No doubt I'd be there every weekend if I found myself living in the area.
• Had a great farewell dinner at Whiskey Creek, a little brew pub where they make and serve beer from the Mammoth Brewing company. I think we had a pitcher of the 395......tasty though a little too much flavor for my liking.
  

Patrick on our 5.9 warm up

Me attempting to lead a 5.10b (i.e., normal 5.10d). I ended up bailing. It happens.

Kiara finishing the 5.10b. Good climbing bro!

Monday, November 28

• Said our good byes and headed to Bishop for breakfast.
• Breakfast was at Shat's Bakery. While the past tense of shit may be shat (I'm still awaiting confirmation from Webster's on this), there's nothing shitty about this food. Seriously good eatery with fresh pastries, sandwiches, and about 50 different types of bread. Try their tomato foccacia.

• What else to say....it took a while to get home.....the interior of S. Cal is bland....Barstow should probably be made into a penal colony. Oh...we did see one crazy car on I-40 near the Mojave desert. Someone apparently got way into "Madmax Thunderdome".

Note to viewer: This is only possible in California. Do not attempt in your home state.

Conclusion: BEST THANKSGIVING EVER!!!

Trip Report: Backpacking the Blue Range Primitive Wilderness Area

My friend Patrick and I backpacked the Blue Range's Foote Creek Trail over the Memorial Day weekend. We began at Hannagan Meadow Trail Head about 25 miles south of Alpine on Saturday morning. Here's a fairly decent trail description, though it fails to neglect that the "detour" trail burned in a wild fire several years ago and has yet to be prepared: http://www.fs.fed.us/r3/asnf/recreation/trails/alpine_trails/trl_alp_foote.shtml. We pretty much bushwhacked for a good 1.5 miles, almost stepping on a rattle snake in the process. Despite not having a map, we reached Horse Ridge Trail at about 3:30pm, making that day's mileage about 10.5 miles including some of the backtracking we did when mistakenly thought we were lost. We camped at the trail junction next to a picturesque slot canyon and hung out until dusk. A solid meal of spaghetti and sausage links, followed by a nice fire and a bear bagging adventure (when you hang your food from a tree....we never did see any bears, though they are abundant supposedly), got us ready for a chilly night under the stars. We hiked back to Highway 191 via Horse Ridge the next day, steadily climbing while taking in the views of the surrounding forests and sandstone peaks. Very cool. After reaching the highway we started walking back to our car and hitching along the way. After about 2 miles a nice couple picked us up. We had thought it was about four more miles back to the car....turns out it was more like seven. Three cheers for random acts of kindness.

That's my pack on the left. I got to try out my new ultralight backpack and camp gear on this trip. I maxed out at about 22 lbs. including water. It's a lot more fun carrying less over 16 miles. Check out the gossamer gear link on the top of this blog if you're interested in obtaining said gear.

Comrades in Arms

Private Patrick marches onward

The slot canyon near our campsite.

View while hiking up Horse Ridge Trail

Castle Rock, one of the defining features of the Blues.

My Cat is Better Than Your Everything

It's true. My cat rules. Don't try to argue with me on this. Definitely don't try to argue with him or he'll sharpen his claws on your calfs. Still skeptical? Here are some defining traits of this king among men, or cats....I don't think that expression was meant to cross into the animal kindgom....UNTIL NOW!

-He sleeps in the bathroom sink

-He's loyal like a dog, yet other dogs fear him

-He sprints across the yard with his back rising up like a cheetah pursuing prey

-Just because you live in a different house than me doesn't mean my cat won't find you. He's goes where he wants when he wants. Don't be surprised to find him strutting through an open window like he owns the place; he probably does own it. Read the fine print before you sign a lease from now on.

Trip Report: Flag to Sedona Mountain Bike Ride

About a month ago, on a windy 48 degree day, Kenny, Tera, Patrick and myself decided to do the 45 mile classic ride from Flagstaff to Sedona. The route follows a variety of mountain bike trails before joining the Old Munds Highway (aka, dirt road) for some 20 plus miles. After entering Munds Park via a much-appreciated three mile downhill paved road, we followed Interstate 17 for approximately two miles. For some of us, this was the scariest part of the trip. Gas trucks barreling past you at 75 mph will do that. We exited at Schnebly Hill road, and traveled for another five miles over gradual hills before the elevation began to drop precipitously. We bombed down the last 8 miles of Schnebly, losing over a 1000 feet of elevation in the process as the infinite red rock formations framed our descent. I'm not sure if I'd do this ride again (or at least not in such cold weather), but I'd definitely be interested in another kamikaze run down picturesque Schnebly. As the photos attest, the views are almost as exciting as the ride. We finished up at Bear Willow Canyon, everyone with all limbs intact, and drove back to Flagstaff to enjoy a pint of Patrick's homebrew.


A crude map of our expedition can be found at the following link:
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=106772392888324115931.00000112d9d9df7739e92&om=1&z=11

Starting shot

Schnebly Hill Road

One of many breathtaking views

Stopping for a photo opportunity before the serious downhill begins

Not sure what's going on here....looks like a face-off

The postcard perfect trend continues

Parting Shot: Much deserved pints of Patrick's wheat beer

Hiking: Veit Springs Trail

I've not blogged in a while but I have been busy, so it's gonna be a backlog bonanza ladies and gents. First up is Veit Springs. This is a short hike on the road up to Snowbowl, our local ski resort in the San Francisco Peaks. With an old log cabin and petroglyphs on the adjacent rock face, Veit Springs is somewhat of an archaeological/historical hike. However, the aspens make for a lovely walk in the woods. Here's some info on the actual trail:

http://www.arizonahikingtrails.com/hikingpages/vietsprings.html .

Vonnegut on Writing Fiction

" 'Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”
-From Vonnegut's Godbless you Mr. Rosewater


As most people who read the papers know by now, Kurt Vonnegut Jr, quite possibly the greatest satirist in the history of the world, died a few weeks ago. For those who couldn't care less about making use of the gift of literacy via the morning paper, here's an obituary of this saint: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/12/books/12vonnegut.html?ex=1191988800&en=aa747f8e1cf65243&ei=5087&excamp=OVGNvonnegutobituary

Vonnegut was a uniquely amazing human being, and he knew a thing or two about writing after fifty-seven years in the business. He detested semi-colons, referring to them as "hermaphrodite transvestites that serve no purpose". To this he added, "The only reason to use one is to show you've been to college." Well said sir. Nobody really knows how to correctly use those damn things anyway.

Here are some rules Vonnegut gives for those attempting to write a short story (taken from Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction) :

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

Vonnegut admitted that most great writers have broken every single one of the tenets at some point in time. So much for rules.

Oh the Places You'll Go!

It finally occured to me that it might be nice to have a some sort of record the countries and states I've visited. World66.com offers such a service with simple to use maps showing every place the well worn travel has trodden. There are more elaborate map making sites out there, such as Travelpod, but all are complicated and time consuming to use. I'm looking for the asy way out. ........Anyway, I've created four three personalized maps. Check 'em out and please let me know if anybody gets one of their own.

The world:

http://www.world66.com/community/mymaps/worldmap/HRBOJPHUJMTWTHPEROVACNCLCAITVNCZATCQIEIDUSMYMX.gif

USA:

http://www.world66.com/community/mymaps/visitedStates/statemap/AZCACODCFLHIILINIAMDMIMNMONENVNMOHOKORPASDUTVAWAWVWIWY.gif


Canada (It's a bit cold up there, eh?)

http://www.world66.com/community/mymaps/visitedCanadianStates/countrymap/BCON.gif

Europe (both Old and New!!!!)

http://www.world66.com/community/mymaps/visitedEurope/countrymap/AUCRCZHUIEITROVC.gif


And since this site doesn't allow you to make a map for countries that one desires to visit, I'll list mine here:

Egypt (great diving in the Red Sea, large pointy building abound)
Morroco (I'm comin' Bogey!)
England (may be there in January....)
Norway
Sweden
Finland
Iceland
Denmark (including icy Greenland)
Holland
France
Spain
Portugal
Poland
Germany
Slovenia
Switzerland
Serbia
Brazil
Argentina
Costa Rica
Belize
Cuba (Attn: CIA ----- go ahead and put me on the "To Watch" list)
Australia
New Zealand
Laos
Cambodia
Myanmar (Burma)
India
Nepal
South Korea

And probably another two dozen I'm forgetting. However, this list will do for now.....

Hiking: Red Mountain

Every weekend in Flagstaff brings a new experience. A couple weeks back I hiked Red Mountain. The east face was blown off in a volcanic eruption long ago. The result? A walk that takes the hiker inside the mountain where hoodoos and slot canyons abound, creating a playground for the adventureous. Sweet.

Teetering rock piles.

Looking out from a slot canyon

Patrick and Terra at the end of the slot canyon.

Tight squeeze!

Patrick and the hoodoos

Hills of sedimentary rock within in the mountain.

All the King's men....and a woman

Oh the pleasure I get from watching King George's throne slowly collapse from beneath him. It only took six years, but it now seems that every other week there's a new scandal followed by calls for some arrogant punk's resignation. Donny is long gone, swept away after last November's well-deserved change of guard. Alberto is in it up to his arm pits, and the waste water continues to rise. Paul Wolfowitz, head of the World Bank and one of the architect's of our amazing Iraq strategy, is also on thin ice (btw Paul, I've not been reading the news lately.....how's that Iraq thing going?). It's only a matter of time until he falls through.

As such, the obvious question arises: when will it be Condi's turn? And what for? Please, please, please let it involve male dancers and State Department petty cash. We have our cake.....can't we at least have some icing on top?

What's the deal with Joe?

It's been a while since I've blogged, and it's been even longer (as in never) since I've given an update on my life. I'm still in Flagstaff, AZ. Things are going well. I landed a job as an undergraduate admissions counselor at Northern Arizona University. The money and benifits (free classes!!!) are good, the work is varied and most of the time enjoyable, the co-workers and students are a joy.....yep, it's a pretty good deal. I get to travel quite a bit, all of which is paid for by the university. I stay in nice hotels. Hotels are great. You can miss the garbage can and then go to bed with a guilt-free conscience. Housekeeping will take care of it within the next 12-15 hours. They sometimes leave a mint on your pillow.

Despite this development, certain things never change. I continue to spend my free time in the outdoors. Climbing in Arizona brings happiness that I can't quite describe. The hiking and mountain biking trails are abundant. This has caused me to drop $600 on a brand new Kona Blast bike. I broke her in yesterday over the course of a 45 mile ride from Flagstaff to Sedona via mountain roads and some single track paths. Surprisingly, I was able to get out of bed this morning without assistance.

More on the ride and some other happenings at a later date.

My backyard

Well, it's not exactly my backyard (my backyard is mostly old cars and cinder blocks), but at just five minutes from Flagstaff, the "Pit" and Sandy and Walnut Canyons do feel just a blink away. Great hiking of course but also some amazing rock climbing. I'll try to get some "Pit" climbing shots together once the weather warms up and the days get a little longer.

The "Pit" with Flag's much photographed San Francisco peaks in the background.

A shallow limestone cave at the base of Fischer Point, Sandy Canyon.

Hiking: Shit Pot Crater

No, I'm not trying to be vulgar or offensive; that's actually the name of one of the most geometrically perfect volcanic craters on Earth. Shit Pot, or SP Crater, sits about 45 minutes outside of Flagstaff on legally accessible private land. My roommate Mike and I checked out SP a few months back during a snow storm (in case you study the photos, not much snow accumulated). The drive in brought us through several cattle herds feeding off the few bits of grass and shrubbery dotting an otherwise lunar landscape. We parked the car and plowed straight up SP's gravel covered sides until reaching the summit of the crater. From there we could view the collapsed cone below and hike the near perfect 360 degree rim. After about an hour at the top we got ready to return to the car below. Our 30 minute stair-master trip upward took less than ten going down, due mostly to the deep gravel which allowed us to run at near full speed while controlling our momentum by digging our heals into the crater's side. It was sweet.

Ancient Lava Flow off the now dormant SP Volcano

SF Peaks with the inside of the crater in the foreground

Mike taking a jump on his way down with my car awaiting our return.

A sample of the rocks we were hiking up and running down

Parting Shot: Beer Tank

California Roadtrip: Good Times

Owen's River Gorge: Upper Area

I had last week off so I mosied on over to California. I left Monday for Orange County where I stayed with Yoli, a doctor who I climbed with in China. Yoli, M.D. The MD stands for Mad Dog. Now she's gonna kill me for sure.

Monday night was sushi at some chic joint. All you could eat for $25 in a one hour span. Good times.

We left Tuesday for Holcomb Pinnacles in the San Bernadino Mountains. Yoli's mates Sarah and Wes joined us for what we be a day of sick routes. The Pinnacles are course granite, most of which are relatively exposed and get good sunlight. The temp. was about 60 degrees making for some fine winter climbing. We hit up a slew of routes with Wes leading the way as the only one of us to on-site the barren 5.11a known as "Jack's Back". Good times.

Holcomb Valley Pinnacles

Yoli on a 5.10a?

Wicked Shot on Pistol Pete (5.10a/b)

To see the other routes we climbed check out this link: http://mountainproject.com/u/joseph_tris/105896252?action=ticks&

After climbing hard all day and having a beer, the group felt very obnoxious.

(note to the authorities: Sarah, who drove home, didn't drink)

On the way home we gorged ourselves on Vietnamese food under the tutelage of Yoli who knew exactly how everything was supposed to be prepped. Good times.

The very next day I took off for Mammoth where an old friend from Japan, Kiara, is now living. But before doing so, I took in a surreal site: a flock of bright green parrots descending upon Yoli's apartment complex. It turns out that some of these birds were released long ago and have since multiplied. Southern California is a strange universe........Good times.

What the hell is wrong with this place?

I arrived at Kiara's in the evening. We hit up some hot springs outside of town with a few friends before calling it a night. Kiara had to work the next day so I went to Bishop, home of arguably the best bouldering in the world. I climbed at Happy Boulders with Natalie, a friend of Kiara's, and several other cool folk that we ran into. The bouldering there is amazing to say the least, enough to keep even the most prolific climbers busy for several years. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera. Good times.

On Friday Kiara and I climbed at the Upper Areas of the Owen's River Gorge. ORG has hundreds of routes with more going up all the time. The routes are stiffly rated but rarely disappointing. If it's not obvious by now, this area of California is blessed with some of the best outdoor sport option in the world. In addition to climbing, there's some insane hiking, backpacking, and camping available at every turn, fly fishing that brings in fishermen from as far away NYC, mountain biking cycling under the shadow of 14,000 foot peaks, and enough wildlife to warrant the creation of a national park. In fact, that's exactly what it felt like: living in a national park. Kiara hit the jackpot on this place and I'm pretty envious......Flagstaff is nice but Mammoth is Eden.

Here's a shot of a 5.10a we climbed (sorry that it's blurry). The route went up the left side of the pinnacle that ends with a counter top-like platform beneath the anchors. See if you can pick it out.

Kiara and I before our hike out.

Climbing out of the valley, feeling obnoxious again.

I left Friday night, drove four hours south, and stayed in a pit called Barstow. Not good times. However, on the remainder of the drive home the next day, I stopped at In-and-Out Burger. I broke my no red-meat principle and chowed down on what is the best burger and french fries in the US. Good times? You bet.

One thing about In-N-Out: they have Bible passages hidden on the underside of their cups and fry wrappers. If you're religious that's cool, but don't try to slip it in under the radar. Kind of creepy (see below).

.